Desire

I have been busy today...looking for God. I want so badly to live for him. I desire it with all of my heart, actually. I feel like I keep stumbling and I get frustrated. I know that I can't just "BE" the perfect Christian, but I feel like I keep struggling with the same things over and over. I want to FOLLOW CHRIST!!! I don't want to be a "Christian". That sounds so religious. I don't want religion...EVER! I want a relationship. I want to grow closer and closer until I can feel God whisper to me in my chest that he loves me. I want to shut the world out, but yet I want to reach out to the world and bring it in with me. I want to be an open vessle that God's power can flow through. I don't want people to see me, but I want them to see Christ. That is what I so desperately want in life. I pray to God today that I empty out my vessle and let him fill it. I want to do God's work, no matter how trivial or big.

Please, those of you who read this, pray for me in my journey. I feel like I am failing across the board, yet my desires are so great. Pray that God drags me along until I can find my own footing. Pray that I don't loose this urgency that I need to be where God is.

Thank you!