18 Months Later

I just wanted to write a post of thanksgiving (and one to maybe encourage a dear friend who is very new to her community and has had to say good bye to all of her dearest friends in the world all too recently).

It has been almost a year and a half since we moved to Iowa now. I came from a situation where I had a difficult time finding meaningful relationships that reached deep. I think that God just needed me in an isolated spot at that point in my life. I HAD to lean on Him more fully that way. The negative side was that I struggled with lonliness while in Indiana and let it affect my vision of myself. That being said, I have a few good friends that we actually started cultivating our friendships AFTER I left Indiana. :) Point being, coming here I had a lot of hopes and fears regarding friendship. I truly wanted to form friendships yet had (and still have sometimes) this awful fear that I had nothing to offer in a friendship.

That being said, I just plugged along and tried to help out whomever would let me as best I could and made a few friends at my MOPS table. *If you aren't part of a MOPS program...HIGHLY RECOMMENDED* Towards the point of six months, one of the ladies that I truly admired, but felt like I wasn't "good enough" for (this is in MY mind, mind you, nothing that she made me feel) asked me if I would be interested in joining the MOPS steering team. I was so happy I cried! I couldn't believe that she saw such potential in...me! That was truly a blessing from God because it infused me with a confidence that had been missing for awhile and was now back in a better form (my confidence had been crushed and God's confidence restored to me). From there, things are history. I still struggle from time to time that my friends (I am even forming DEEP relationships) really only "put up" with me and don't really like me, but those are the times that I have to go to God so that He can tell me the truth.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139:14

If a perfect God wants to be my friend (John 15:15) then why wouldn't a few flawed humans be okay with me? :)

Dear Lord, I thank you for the friendships you have blessed me with and I pray that you help me to encourage my friends and build them up (1 Thes. 5:11). I want to preserve those precious friendships and can only do so with your help, O Lord. I pray that each of those ladies that has reached out to me has a day full of blessings today. You are an awesome God! Amen.